a post that's suspiciously reminiscent of those chain e-mails that preach to you about how you shouldn't forget how good life really is. sorry.

Last week I was missing our old apartment and a life that was a little less complicated. But to be honest, I don't think it was the life I was missing. It was having a nice window behind my desk. Now, I just have a wall.

The truth is, I don't want my early twenties back. Sure, I was healthier and less committed then. But that also came with a lack of direction, career, confidence, and community that were less than groovy. It was important to experience those things once. But I don't want to do it again. Not even to get back that higher metabolism, lack of responsibility, or the supposed "potential" I left college with.

I slogged through those years, waiting for some of the things I have now. I was a little younger, but I was short-sighted. I was healthier, but unappreciative. I'm glad marriage was tough then, because it's even better now. I'm glad we've had to work for our house, because that work has made it a home. I'm glad I took a job that isn't all it could be, because I've made friends there who mean something to me.

Plus, I'm done waiting for so many things. I don't have to wait for Kara to finish school; she'll be done in May. I don't have to wait for my brother to come home from the Air Force anymore; he's here. And I don't have to wait for my sister to finish her global trekking; she's got a career and a fiancée.

So yeah, I get anxious about life, my health, my bills, and my job that isn't all it could be. But with those things has come so much more that's wonderful and fulfilling--and lasting. It's stuff that doesn't fall into your lap at 22. It's stuff you have to wait for, stuff you have to earn.

I put in my time and earned it once. Why would I want to earn it all over again? Plus, I'm not even 30 yet. I need to put in a few more years before I'm elligible to pine for days of yore.